Marriage Is One Sided

Marriage is a one sided. What made this a revelation is when my spouse asked me the other day "What would you do if I weren't here?" I thought for a moment that had to respond that I couldn't do it without her. She is my rock. She handles so many things that I have no clue about that if she were not around? I would not be able to keep the kids alive. So, what am or should I do about it. First and foremost, thank her for all that she does. I definitely don't do that enough. Secondly, start taking over many of the things that she is doing. This will allow her more time to do the things that stresses her out. Do I have the time to do that? No, probably not, but this is not about me, it is about her and the kids. What I need to do is live my life like I am a single parent taking care of everything. If I look for appreciation or acknowledgement for doing this, I am being selfish. I used to think that by being happy with myself I would be a better person. What really needs to happen, is that the conditions of my life need to foster those happy feelings, and if they don't, then I need to change them for the better.

Funny thing, as I am typing this, an e-mail notification came through, reminding me of a social gathering with the group I play hockey with. Although, I don't get to play much anymore, I would like to go and see everyone. But, other things need to be done. So I think that I am going to miss this event.

One of the things that has added to my wife's stress is the house. Every time the house gets cluttered, we both get stressed. In the past, I've left her stuff alone and thought that the clutter was her fault. Well, the clutter is my fault and I need to clean it up. We will both be much happier if the house is not stressing us out. By accepting the clutter, we are teaching our kids that living in such conditions is acceptable, when it really is not. We need to clean up our act so that the kids will too.

This is the time of year that we should reflect on the past year, and plan for the upcoming year. We all want things to change for the better. Many of us sit around waiting for others to change or hope that things we have no control over change. We need to be the change we would like to see. For the only thing that we can change is ourselves and not others. When I look back, I not only see the times that I was selfish, lost my temper, or procrastinated, I also see the time that I actually accomplished things. For the most part, when I reflect on the past the focus is on what went wrong or the bad. For we truly learn from our mistakes and not necessarily our successes. My mistakes have stressed out me and those around me. Now is the time for me to take control for my own happiness and not to think that my wife will do things that will make me happy. If I make those around me happier, I will be happier and everyone wins.

Happy Wife equals Happy Life.

Oh and if you want to know, I am still making stides in inproving my health and lossing weight. I am half way to my goal in weight loss, but way behind in building my base for next years triathlon season. As the year continues and the healthy and happy habits develope around the house, I would hope that more time frees up so I can work on my conditioning.

Position on the Wagon.

Well, its been a few weeks, family had gotten in the way of what I was trying to accomplish. Between the kids having birthdays and my father having surgery, it was hard, if not impossible to keep on track. The last four weeks were supposed to be the start of my cardio exercise. What really happened was that I stopped everything all together and slid backwards. So, for the next four to six weeks I want to follow Jonathan Rouche's No Excuses Work Out plan. That is doing a half hour interval on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and doing the 6 minute NEWO workout on Tuesdays and Thursdays. If I can do that, then the gains that I saw last month and lost the last few weeks, should be back before the Holidays really hit.

The fortunate thing is that I've been watching how much and what I eat, which has resulted in no weight gain when I fell off the wagon. So, I do have that going for me. I am hoping that during the next session, I can gain control of some of the meals around the house. This will mean shopping and cooking. I am sure that my wife won't mind a little, although I do think she likes to use the time to get away from the kids. For dinner tonight, it is going to be an Apple Maple Chicken bake, with the sides still up in the air. It is a new recipe that I've wanted to try. The rest of the week is still in the planning stages, and future weeks will be planned out ahead of time.

My exercise routing is kicking in. This morning I was able to get up and get a 30 minute interval in. Tomorrow, I have the day off and plan on getting a swim in after I get the kids to day care. Wednesday and Friday, I am playing hockey, so I should be able to get enough cardio in to get my system going. Then it is a matter of fueling the fire with enough food to keep my metabolism going. Healthy snacks and remembering to eat every couple of hours has been the hardest so far. But as I take over the shopping, there should be more fruits and vegetables available for snacks.

If I look at where I am as compared to where I want to be, I don't want to get back on the wagon. Wouldn't it be better to run along side rather then get back on it? Even better would be to pull the wagon…..

PHASE II

Well phase II started out well then it has hit the skids. After a wonderful weekend that included walks with the kids, the dreaded head cold has hit. Add on top of that Daylight Saving Time and the kids getting up an hour earlier, finding the time is an issue again. This has slowed my progress and has drained my energy levels. This is the time that I should be getting some low intensity training in. Fortunately there is a lifetime that the missed training can be made up. Hopefully in a day or two, the fatigue can be over come and my feet will start moving.

It was discovered on Sunday that there is going to have to be some work to get my heart rate up to where it needs to be at this stage. Pushing Aidan in the jogging stroller only got my rate up to 110 for the mile and half that he would tolerate it. It would be nice to get another 20 BPM for 20 minutes so it may be the treadmill to get paces and intensities worked out. So, tonight will be the night to get the home equipment set up. That includes my bike on a trainer for those days that my knees bother me. I look forward to the times when the kids can be sent to bed on their own and the grown ups can go catch up on things.

My healthy habits have stalled also. It is not that I have fallen off the wagon, but with the illness has come a loss of appetite and not eating enough. This too shall come to an end soon. Healthy snacks are easier to find around the house now, but with the passing of Halloween the unhealthy stuff is also easier to find. On top of that, JC makes a killer pumpkin cake that I can't get enough of. This is the time of year that always seems to find its way to my waist.

All thins reminds me when I did my first triathlon. Not knowing much about the sport, every book on the subject was read, along with enrolling in a class at the local gym. During one of the classes, one of the other students asked the question, "Should we be following a special diet in order to compete?" The instructor's response was that we are engaging in exercise and our bodies are going to need fuel. So changing our diets at this time would do us more damage then good. With the additional fuel that our bodies were going to burn, if we just maintained our current eating habits, then we would see a weight loss. It was true, by the time that the triathlon arrived; my body was 30 pounds liter. Therefore, exercise in itself would be beneficial to losing weights, but that is not the goal this time around. The goal is to become healthier and to do that, what food is consumed needs to be considered. It is going to come down to the choices that are made and choosing not to eat the junk and fast foods that have been part of my diet for years. So far it has been over a month without fast food. I almost gave in this weekend when JC was craving it. But, we were able to find something else to eat and didn't make the easy choice. We both are better for it, even if she doesn't know it.

It just occurred to me that my small steps are rubbing off without others knowing about it. Sneaky aren't I……

On To The Next Session

Well, I am entering my last week of what is referred to as "The Core". It's been going good. There have been increases in both the number of reps and sets vs. at the start of the plan. The only indication that can be seen physically is that my belt goes one notch smaller to hold up my pant. This has me very pleased. There have been a couple of days this week where a weight gain have been recorded, but that most likely has to do with my fluid intake. As a final grade, I would have to give myself a B for the core workouts. I've been inching to get to some cardio and plan on starting that with the new session next week.

So that brings me back to my short term goals for the next session. What are they? What do I want to accomplish? Well let's start with weight, It would be great to drop 10 pound, but it is probably best to expect 1 pound a week, so the first goal will be a four pound weight loss. To reach this, the nutrition habits of the last four weeks are going to have to continue and I will start with some light cardio. What heart rate should I keep to? With my current resting heart rate and a maximum calculated base on my age, these are the zone for training.

Resting Heart Rate(RHR):
67

Maximum Heart Rate(MHR):
182

Heart Rate Reserve(HRR):
115

Fat Burning: From
125
to
136
beats per minute

Aerobic: From
136
to
148
beats per minute

Steady State: From
148
to
159
beats per minute

Anaerobic: From
159
to
171
beats per minute

Maximal: From
171
to
182
beats per minute

So for the first week, my heart rate should be below 136 while exercising.

For my second goal, I plan to continue some of the good practices that I started during the last four weeks. Yes, I do slip up every now and again, but I would have to say 90% of the time I do what I planned on doing.

A third goal is going to be to cook a healthy dinner every week. This may take some work, as I don't do the shopping very often. So creativity will come into play with what is in the house at that time.

Things are progressing because Small Step are Better Then No Steps.

The Choices We Make

Well its been a few days since an update has been posted. Currently things are going to plan. Although, there is an urge to do more and go harder, I keep reminding myself that the first four weeks are for core work and developing healthy habits.

Yesterday was a tough day for temptations. In the vening there was a craving for one of those big juicy burgers that we shouldn't eat. Not that I am swearing off them completely, but it is best that I don't have one until healthy eating has become second nature to me.

From the healthy eating side, a grapefruit, banana and apple find their way into my lunch on a daily basis. To keep them company there is a small army of almonds. The day normally starts with oatmeal or one of the pieces of fruit. Another piece of fruit is consumed around 9:30 or 10:00 and then there is lunch at 11:00. After lunch the fruit and nuts are my afternoon snacks. It seems like I am eating consistently. With all this food and 64 oz of water throughout the workday, I am usually not hungry when I get home at the end of the day. A big success has been the freedom not to have an evening snack. So far it is not missed. Although I am asked on a daily basis if I want one and I have turn it down for the last three weeks.

This reminds me of a teaching by a Zen Master on goals. If we se out to lose weight and set our goal at the end result, we will do what we can to reach that goal. But, once we reach the goal, we revert back to our old habits. These are the same habits that are the reason we were losing the weight to begin with and we put the weight back on. Instead if we focus on the journey and make the choice to eat healthy, then we develop good eating habits and the weight will come off on its own. Therefore it is in our power to choose to eat healthy or not to. We have the freedom to choose. If we want to make a change in our lives, then we need to make different choices.

Back to my progress, there has been some muscle soreness in my lower abdominals. This is only showing up during pushups and not bridges. It most likely has to do with my form and the way that my abdomen is being held. It is not something that comes out fatigue sets in nor is it there for crunches or planks, which leads back to form. The reps are getting easier, therefore if the form can be corrected, there will be an increase in the number of reps. It is nice to see the strength coming back. The additional intensity will come soon enough. Maybe a thought would be to improve flexibility while things are going good.

Small step are better then no steps.

Rest Is Good

Well, today is a rest day. This was a last minute decision due to continued muscle soreness. We'll just pick up tomorrow where we left off. Other then the muscle soreness, I feel good.

I had an echo stress test yesterday. The good news is that I lasted longer then most of the local pro athletes that they have through there. The not so good new is that the results take some time. There was nothing eventful about the test, no surprises and no issues. So all is apparently well, until the Dr. calls to say otherwise. My recent ankle injury flared up during the test, but only when the treadmill got to 16% grade. The plan will be modified to incorporate some stretching and strengthening of the ankles.

The approach of getting things ready the night before and setting the alarm to go to bed is working great. Each night there is more and more that gets accomplished before lights out. This all is helping my energy level in the mornings. Although, the kids are fighting bed time more every night, so we'll have to nip that one in the bud right away.

I am still in the market for a good log book. It doesn't need to be anything fancy, just something that I can jot down what gets done and how it felt. It would be nice if it were universal where meals, strength and conditioning. Ha, it is starting to sound like the log should just be a journal.

Small steps are better then no steps…. We'll work on longer strides later.

Easy Big Fella

Well, a couple of good practices have been incorporated into my routine. They won't be called habits until the have bee incorporated for at least 3 weeks. This first is setting the alarm to go to bed at night. When the alarm goes off, the lunches get made, the workout and children's clothing gets laid out, so the next morning is not so hectic. All the tasks are not getting done, but the improvement in the morning stress can be seen. The second practice is making sure the kitchen is cleaned up right after dinner. This one is receiving a little flack from others in the house, but again, the reduction in stress the next day is great. Another unintended practice is to keep the TV off until later in the evening. Because of this, there is no more stuffing of the face until the new is over. Eating takes as long as it takes to be satisfied not full or overstuffed, and it feels great. These practices need more time and work before they become good habits, but the path is there.

Morning workouts are getting better and easier. Because of setting the alarm clock to go to bed, I awake more rested and can get up earlier. This has opened up enough time to expand the workout. So far the concentration has been on abs one day, arms and legs the next. There is a little muscle soreness the arms, but this is most likely due to the neglect over the years. It is almost to the point where some walking or jogging could be added. But that is not in the goals for this month. For now, take it easy big fella and stick to the plan, don't over do it. The core strength is coming along and that is the plan.

Last nights drive home from work was the time to listen to a podcast from Running Times. Pete Magill was the guest. http://www.runningtimes.com/Article.aspx?ArticleID=17768 He talked about how as we age, we lose our stride. What we most likely believe is the cause for us getting slower as we age is the turnover or pace, but studies have shown that we maintain the turnover as we age. What we do lose in about 40% of our stride length. So as we age, it is more important then ever to do drills to strengthen and maintain the muscles used to lengthen or maintain stride length.

One issue that has been mentioned often that age group runners and triathletes have is that we train too hard. Many coaches and experts in the fields taught that we need to slow down, especially on our recovery days. We often go out and try to maintain a certain pace. Often this pace is too taxing on our system and does not allow the body to heal after hard workouts. Also, the benefit of slowing down is that longer workouts are logged while expending less energy. One suggestion is to leave the watch at home and listen to your body. With out the watch telling us that we are not covering the distance as quickly as we usually do, then we are forced to listen to our body and run at a pace that our body is capable of for that day.

With all that being said, Small Steps are Better then No Steps and let's stay on the planned path.

Patterns To Break The Chaos

Again, today was a difficult morning. As you know by now, my workouts are scheduled for the morning before the kids get up. Well, when one kid didn't sleep much and the other go up when I would normally get up, it is hard to get the workout in. But with the littlest ones help, there was some added resistance to my crunches. Glad that my pain is amusing to them.

During a recent Zen and the Art of Triathlon podcast, Brett mention an app on his iPhone called "Habit Checker" where the iPhone will ask on a periodic basis if you remembered to do the specific task. Sound like something that would be beneficial in our family. We start many things with all the good intentions, but our life gets in the way before they become habit. To commit something to memory only take repeating it three times, but creating a new habit takes 28 days or more. That just does not seem fair. But, we will live with it.

Another suggestion Brett had was to set my alarm to remind me to go to bed. This one has great potential. Say if I want to get up and get my workout in by the time the boys get up, so I have to get up at 4:30 am. Well if I need to get seven hours of sleep, then I would work backwards form the 4:30 to 9:30 pm. But on top of that, it takes me a half an hour to fall asleep, that move it to 9:00 pm. In order to get into bed, there is an hour of prep for the next day, including getting the kids cloths ready, getting my workout cloths laid out, lunches made and everything in order. Therefore, now I need my alarm to go off at 8:00 pm. Tie this in with creating a new habit, then in a month, you no longer need the alarm, you have everything ready to go for morning before you go to bed and life is much less chaotic in the morning.

Next step in my road to a healthier life is to set my alarm clock and prep for the morning. Jennifer will surely appreciate it, just in the fact that the kids will be ready to go. If it can be done for a couple of weeks, then it would have to be said that we are on track.

Another step that is planned is the inclusion of more fruits and vegetables in the diet. To start, we are going to have to stock more fruits in the house. The last banana in the house made its way into my lunch bag. After that there is nothing but cookies, crackers and pretzels to eat. Not good, but just goes to show where we can easily make improvements.

Small step are better then no steps.

Why Is Life Always In The Way?

Another weekend in the books and once again life got in the way of my plans. With a birthday party on Saturday and a house full of people, there was not much I could do. Besides, what is life if you don't want to spend time with family and friends? On this occasion I am glad that life got in they way of my plans. It was really nice to see everyone and to know that everyone is going great. Glad to see you all.

My pattern seems to be every 3rd day being able to get a very short workout in. At this pace, it may take some time, but at least there has been very little muscle soreness from the core work. Fortunately there is a lot or research on short intense workouts and their benefits, because when it really counts, that’s what I am really going to need.

There is one legal disclaimer that is attached to every workout routine, "Please consult your physician before beginning any exercise program". This year I am going to take that to heart. No pun intended. But, during my harder runs last year, I started to feel pain in my chest. When I went in for my annual physical, I mentioned this to my doctor. He has now scheduled me for an echo stress test. So, I get to go be a lab rat and run on a wheel with wire hanging off me. It is scheduled for this week. So, hopefully when that is done, I can get a clean bill of health and start working on some endurance.

I stated last week that I wanted to dive into my goals a little deeper. Before I do that, I want to figure out my motivation. Looking at pictures of my kids, they are the first thing that comes to mind. Being around for them, being here as they grow up and seeing them mature into adults with families of their own. They are what inspires me to do the things I do to get healthy. My motivation comes from the realization that I will not be around for or with them forever. Morbid talk, I know, but that is why we look to get ourselves healthy. It is our own mortality that drives us to try to live longer. It is our mortality that motivates us and it is the things that we live for that are our inspiration.

My short term goals are what I want to accomplish now, or within the next 6 weeks. As I go through them, I want to place some measure to them. One of the first things that comes to mind in the short term is to have more energy. What does that mean? How do I know when that has happened? I don't want to have to drag myself out of bed in the morning. Is that what reaching this goal is going to be like? I don't know, maybe I should just try to move on to other goals and come back to this one later.

Next, I want to drop one waist size. When I hold up my pants, I can't believe that my butt is that wide. If you really want an eye opener, take a pair of paint and hold them up. I know that I am not that big, but I am larger then what the medical field says a healthy person my height should be. Reminder to self…. Small Steps….. This is one goal that may be vane, but when I reach it, I will know, without a shadow of doubt.

My third short term goal is to get active every day of the week. This may be the hardest one with the two kids needing interaction. But, if I can get up 15 minutes earlier every morning and work on core one day and arms and legs the next, that will be success. Just by doing some bedside exercises. As you can tell be my previous posts, it is not working out, but we are making progress.

So, there they are,

1. Drop one pant size
2. Get 15 minutes in a day
3. Have more energy.

If anyone has suggestions on carving out the time to try to meet these short term goals while trying to live the life of a husband, father, friend and co-worker, please let me know. Also, if anyone know of a simple easy to use log for both exercise and food, I am looking for one. Thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings and let's remember "Even small steps are better then no steps"

Starting Slow And Building From There

Last night while putting one of the boys to bed, an article in a magazine jumped out at me. The topic was in regards to the misnomer about core strength and exercises. This hit home being that is what my focus is on now. The misnomer comes from the idea that in order to strengthen the core, dynamic exercises are needed, these being crunches, leg raises and twists. One of the biggest eye openers was that these are the same things that researchers do to a cadaver when they are trying to damage the spine. Ouch… So, if working the muscles with dynamic exercises is bad, what is the correct way to strengthen the core? The suggestion is for static exercises or those that require the stabilization of the core during movement of major muscle groups. Being able to hold the core rigid under stress is the key. Bridges, planks and the hunting dog poses where among those suggested.

To update, my progress, I've been doing crunches in the am. Because of the years of neglect, I've been able to get two sets of 50 in before my back aches to the point that I cannot continue. That changed this morning. My goal was to hold a plank pose for 30 seconds and do 3 sets, then move to the hunting dog for 3 sets of 30 seconds also. Well, I was only able to make it to 2 sets of 30 for the plank before my back went on me. Hopefully, after a couple session, I can get to 3 of 30 and add the next pose.

Generally, I feel a dull ache in my abs now but my back has been fine all day. I am going to change to 3 set of 20 seconds every other day and hopefully I can hold the pose and form for the entire time.

Nutritionally, I was able to also read an article in a running magazine regarding a philosophy on running nutrition. I am going to look of a book that was referenced and hopefully start preparing a meal a week if not two along that philosophy. In the mean time, I have started to limit my portion sizes and am consuming an adequate amount of water. My next step will be to have nutritional snacks available at work. No more energy bars, but switch to fruits and nuts.

So far the scale is still at 0 and not climbing. I consider that progress over the scale climbing. Tomorrow I will get into better defining my goals for the coming year and maybe even breaking them down into shorter term goals. But for now, I need to lose weight and gain core stability.

Weekend #1

Although it is only the first week, I can tell it is going to be hard trying to find the time. I tried to carve out 15 minutes a day for working out, well that turned into one 15 minute session for the entire week. Even at that, I was asked what I was doing. So anyway, the time that I was able to get some core work in it felt good. I was able to get 50 crunches and 25 leg lifts in before my back started to hurt. Tonight, I plan on getting Conrad to bed and doing more.

Meals and nutrition is probably that area that needs the most work for me. It is not secret that I don't eat right. I limited my coffee this morning to two cups, down from the 10 on Saturday and large Latte on Sunday. Breakfast was a cup of instant oat meal, flavored of course, and lunch we actually a breakfast consisting of two eggs over easy hash browns, whole wheat toast and ham. The good news on the food front is that I am getting my 64 oz of water in.

Let see if I can continue the week with at least the core work and water. The nutrition will come along shortly. I am hoping by keeping a log of my food it will identify my short comings. My exercises are getting logged also. The format is still up in the air, but for now, they are going into my PDA.

All in all, this weekend felt good

A New Begining

My purpose for this blog was to verbalize some of the thoughts that were bouncing around in my head. Over the next 9 months, I would like to change it to a log of my progress in training. As I get closer to moving up to the next age group, I am hoping I can be more competitive.

What needs to done to be competitive next year.

With my training year done, a vacation done and my body rested, now is the time to start thinking about next year. First, the races that I want to do. I want to be ready to race the Big Fish on Father's day. Second, I want to race the Running fit series of races at Island Lakes. What are my top three goals going to be during the season? For these I need to look at my weaknesses.

First I need to look at my mental toughness. Why is it that I don't push through on races? Is it that I am not competitive or is it that I'm not willing to be competitive? Well, I do believe that I am competitive. It gets to me when I see people passing me on each of the legs. That leads me to not willing to compete. The question then becomes who am I competing against. The answer is myself. I need to set a goal for each race and work towards that, not only during training, but during the race.

The swim is probably my strongest and I don't get passed too often there. Next year I will start closer to the front of the pack and try to hang with the leaders. I should be able to start towards the front, but on the side and not have an issue.

The bike is my next strongest event. There I feel that in the years past, I was strong, but this year, the course got in my head. Either that or I was saving it for the run. It has been my experience that when I get off the bike, it is very difficult for me to run. Maybe I saved too much. The know how and experience are there, the motivation in missing.

My toughest event has always been the run. This year I want to complete a race with out walking the majority of the run leg. For that I need to build a good base. That brings me to my second goal: to build a good solid base that will allow me to run an entire 5k.

My last goal is going to be the enabler for the second. To lose weight. My current weight is almost 30 pounds over what is should be. Therefore I need to lose 30 pounds.

How am I going to accomplish these goals? As they always say, "How do you eat and elephant? One bite at a time" I am not going to layout an entire season of training. But, if I layout 4-6 week blocks, the task isn't as intimidating. Keeping the long term goals in mind, 2 or 3 blocks will be looked at a time. This will give me the opportunity to change as I go.

With that said, on to the first block. Being 9 months before the first event, the plan is to start out slowly. The first 4 weeks I am going to work on building core strength. Not only will this benefit me in the long run, but it facilitates blocking out a small chunk of time, starting with only 15 minutes a day.

Hopefully I can make updates on a weekly basis if not more often. So lets start my journey.